OK, so last night is Fourth of July, which is a big deal for us Americans. Let me tell you how it goes down.

First off I had to work, which wasn't a big deal. It was a short shift and I could use the hours. I got off at just after one o'clock, at which point I hang out at my house for a while. At around five o'clock we all head over to some of my parent's friend's, Jim and Kody's place. In our trunk is a cooler full of ice, two cases of beer, two bottles of wine, a six pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade, a twelve pack of Dr. Pepper, and a smoked turkey. In the back seat with me and my brother Caleb is $111.30 worth of fireworks (I'm a total pyro and love fireworks ^_^).

We get to Jim and Kody's place, set the stuff in their garage, and are greeted by their giant golden retriever, Fletch. Fletch is the kinda dog that little kids mistake for a pony. Jim and Kody also have three girls,(oldest to youngest) Kensy, Kelsy, and Kayla (not triplets, 'cause I know that's what your thinking). I'm not sure their exact ages, but Kensy can't be more than ten, while Kelsy is seven or eight, and I think Kayla is five. Aside from similar names, they all have their mom's blond hair, and are super skinny. But they are pure evil. Sure, they behave when there are adults around, but barley.

The bad things started happening when the adults went next door to help with the food. I of course, being the oldest, was stuck with watching the kids. Luckily I brought my laptop so I wasn't bored out of my mind. I also had my iPod so I could listen to my music without everyone hearing it. My brother is a hardcore rap and hiphop fan, and hates just about all my music, and lets me know all the time. Also the girls would probably hate my music as well seeing as they're into things like Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers, etc. I pretty much just stayed on my computer the whole time and occasionally broke up a fight between the girls and Caleb.

Eventually my step-dad Michael, and Jim come inside to tell us that the food is almost ready next door, and start cutting up the turkey. We all eat, and next thing you know the fireworks come out. I talk Michael and Jim into letting me light them, and they hand me the lighter and step back.

Eventually we run out of stuff except for the big finale, but Kody doesn't want to set that one off yet so she drives off to get more. She comes back and we start again. Unfortunately the candle lighter that I was using disappeared and I had to use those stupid little lighter stick things. For those who've never seen or use these things, let me tell you how much of a bitch they are. Instead of a tiny open flame, you've got this slow burning ember at the end of this flimsy stick. You've got to touch the fuse with it just right for it to light. This is a huge problem for me, because I can't hold things like that steady long enough for it to light anything (if you don't believe me than you should see my handwriting). So I'm trying to light one of those artillery shell things, and I'm holding the fuse with one hand while trying to light it with the other. When I finally light the thing, in my attempt to get away from it the worst possible thing happens:

I knocked the launcher over. Toward where everyone was sitting.

Luckily I didn't just freeze in panic. I try to tilt it back up with my foot, but it fell over again, this time in the opposite direction. I was about to try to point it up again when it went off, and the shell went under the neighbors car. I instinctively cover my ears and think "We're all gonna die". Luckily the thing didn't blow up the car, but it still scared the shit out off me.

I was then fired from lighting duty until next year. I was shaking so back that my mom gave me a Hard Lemonade to help me calm down. I ended up mixing it with Dr. Pepper just to try it, Then I got my laptop, and browsed the Twilight Sucks forum for a bit. I ended up having a glass of wine and another Hard Lemonade/Dr. Pepper before we went home (my mom and Kody made it their mission to get me to drink at every opportunity when I turned sixteen last year)

When we got home I browsed Twilight Sucks some more, then played with my new PSP for a bit, browsed around the Internet in general, then passed out at two. Woke up at around eight thirty in the morning, with what I'm assuming is a minor hangover.

Basically it was the worst Forth of July ever. I hope yours is better.